Published on July 28th, 2012 | by tomkolovos6
Jews for Jesus of Latter Day Saints (or, The Romneys goyem to Israel)
“I do not think it altogether inappropriate to introduce myself. I am the man who accompanied my money to the Caymans, and I have enjoyed it.”
Mitt Romney shelped his way to Jerusalem from London today , where he made a total shlemiel of himself suggesting the English were a bunch of shlimazels.
He’s come to Israel to schmooze with God’s chosen people and give them the spiel that he would be a better friend to Israel than Barack Obama because he is not a Muslim loving schvartze.
He brought along the shmendrik Sheldon Adelson, the billionaire who thinks Obama is such a scmuck that he’s pledged a schlocky $400 million of his own money to make sure he does not get re-elected.
Romney it turns out is doing his same old schtick of goy-ing into the Mittens Protection Program, because he abruptly barred the press from access to the meeting, which on such political trips requires chutzph and had the press plotzing since he also refused to take questions from the American press while in London.
All of this is chutzpah quite interesting, since Mormons have a tradition of baptizing dead Jews–and Mitt has admitted to doing his share of it– which is hardly how you behave when you’re claiming to be practically mishpocheh–and highly offensive to most people, let alone people like Elie Wiesel.
Romney did raise some eyebrows when he delivered such lines as “You people and I have a lot in common because we love money” and “I like firing people, you people like firing on people.”
In a misguided attempt to bedazzle the crowd with his version of “Ich bin ein Berliner,” he mused that “I too have wondered the desert for almost two decades since the Salt Lake Olympics looking for the promised land. “
No word yet how he was received by Benjamin Netanyahu, himself a big obstinate shmegegge when it comes to the Middle East peace but we were able to to get some of the media to kvetsh about the whole affair and leak some of the headlines they would be using tomorrow, so long as we would not reveal their identities because Lynn Cheney had not authorized as much.
Romney Kills At Jerusalem Fundraiser. Baptizes Attendees and Gets Diplomatic Immunity to Supply Them Voter ID’s
Ortho docs: Gay couples raising children violates Jewish law but Mormons who baptize dead Jews welcome to raise money in Israel
Romney Keeps Kosher: Beats a dead horse in Israel but keeps his dancing horse in London
HOLLA COST: In stunning feat, Romney bans all media from Jewish fundraiser
NILE, HIRE US: Romney parks some cash for new vacation home in West Bank.
Tom Kolovos isEIC of aControlledSubstance.com. Photo via Yahoo News “Mitt Romney arrives in Israel looking to reset his foreign trip”