Jews for Jesus of Latter Day Saints (or, The Romneys goyem to Israel)
“I do not think it altogether inappropriate to introduce myself. I am the man who accompanied my money to the Caymans, and I have enjoyed it.”
Mitt Romney shelped his way to Jerusalem from London today , where he made a total shlemiel of himself suggesting the English were a bunch of shlimazels.
He’s come to Israel to schmooze with God’s chosen people and give them the spiel that he would be a better friend to Israel than Barack Obama because he is not a Muslim loving schvartze.
He brought along the shmendrik Sheldon Adelson, the billionaire who thinks Obama is such a scmuck that he’s pledged a schlocky $400 million of his own money to make sure he does not get re-elected.
Romney it turns out is doing his same old schtick of goy-ing into the Mittens Protection Program, because he abruptly barred the press from access to the meeting, which on such political trips requires chutzph and had the press plotzing since he also refused to take questions from the American press while in London.
All of this is chutzpah quite interesting, since Mormons have a tradition of baptizing dead Jews–and Mitt has admitted to doing his share of it– which is hardly how you behave when you’re claiming to be practically mishpocheh–and highly offensive to most people, let alone people like Elie Wiesel.
Romney did raise some eyebrows when he delivered such lines as “You people and I have a lot in common because we love money” and “I like firing people, you people like firing on people.”
In a misguided attempt to bedazzle the crowd with his version of “Ich bin ein Berliner,” he mused that “I too have wondered the desert for almost two decades since the Salt Lake Olympics looking for the promised land. “
No word yet how he was received by Benjamin Netanyahu, himself a big obstinate shmegegge when it comes to the Middle East peace but we were able to to get some of the media to kvetsh about the whole affair and leak some of the headlines they would be using tomorrow, so long as we would not reveal their identities because Lynn Cheney had not authorized as much.
Romney Kills At Jerusalem Fundraiser. Baptizes Attendees and Gets Diplomatic Immunity to Supply Them Voter ID’s
Ortho docs: Gay couples raising children violates Jewish law but Mormons who baptize dead Jews welcome to raise money in Israel
Romney Keeps Kosher: Beats a dead horse in Israel but keeps his dancing horse in London
HOLLA COST: In stunning feat, Romney bans all media from Jewish fundraiser
NILE, HIRE US: Romney parks some cash for new vacation home in West Bank.
Tom Kolovos isEIC of aControlledSubstance.com. Photo via Yahoo News “Mitt Romney arrives in Israel looking to reset his foreign trip”
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While I assume that your intent here was to trash Romney in favor of Obama, an unintended consequence is the real possibility of offending people of the Jewish faith. Many would be upset with a non-Jew using these terms much the same way Blacks would be upset with non- blacks using the N word. Particularly disturbing is the reference to the holocaust but much is in bad taste.
No, my intent was not to favor Obama. My intent was to be seriously funny. As for offending anyone, since when has that ever been off the table for humor? And may I finally quote Ricky Gervais, “People confuse the subject of the joke with the target of the joke,” which clearly some people of the Jewish faith might indeed do here.
Most however won’t. Asa lama lakum my brothers.
Speaking of offensive, I’m personally offended that you didn’t credit me with learning a foreign language from reruns of “The Nanny.”
Shalom, Stan.
PS. Get off my tukus or I’ll bring a Mormon to your funeral……..
Clever but sometimes honor crosses the line.
I haven’t met a line I’m not willing to cross. Well, unless it’s a picket picket line at the Pritzker’s Hyatt Hotels. Obama supporters, you know…… Billionaires pretty much suck, no matter the party affiliation.
I meant to say sometimes humor crosses the line
That’s why humor is so valuable!